If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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