Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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