Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
