If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
