Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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