UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I will be naked everywhere
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
