just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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