i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm at about main and main street
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
