I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
