The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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