Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Your tits are I can't wait for
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
