I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
