So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
