Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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