I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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