They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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