Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
