im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
