at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
