Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize