I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize