My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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