you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
