I skipped work to stalk him.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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