You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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