You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
