One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was like giving head to a cactus.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize