After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I looked at my own cervix.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Randomize
