recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
