When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
