He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
