I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
