seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
