Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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