News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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