YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
FUCK WHALES
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize