Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
