My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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