You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My vagina is very pro this idea
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
