so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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