Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
