I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
