I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize