This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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