What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
