this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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