Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
