Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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