From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
