I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
