super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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