God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
