I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
nutella sex= disaster
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
