I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
