alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
