WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
