New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
