So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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