there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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